Ten Fun-Filled Police Brainteasers

This entry is part 4 of 8 in the series UK Police

Police officer enjoys anal with a horseWhile away the lonesome hours with this delightful police-based quiz (and the above image)!


1. Which UK Police Chief was immortalised as a severed head, on the cover of David Britton’s ‘Meng and Ecker’ comic?

2. In the years since 1990, how many deaths have there been following contact with or in the custody of UK police? Moreover, how many police officers were convicted in relation to these deaths?

3. In 2012, figures were released by UK police admitting that a large number of serving officers had gained criminal records since becoming officers. How many were dodgy? Now, name three of their crimes.

4. Is it really legal in the UK for a pregnant woman to piss in a policeman’s helmet?

5. How many police officers and civilian support staff does the Met employ in total?

6. Where in the United Kingdom is it illegal to die?

7. The first use of the word police (“Polles”) in English comes from the book “The Second Part of the Institutes of the Lawes of England”, 1642. When and where was the first centrally organised police created?

8. In which UK Police District is it an offence to shake or beat a carpet, rug, or mat in any street?

9. Which countries have the most violent police forces?

10. What is the minimum number of police officers per 100,000 citizens, as recommended by the United Nations?

Answers below the picture…

Policeman looking stupidAnswers

1. James Anderton, Chief Constable of Greater Manchester Police, 1976-1991). The artwork was in reference to Anderton’s continued campaign against Britton’s book ‘Lord Horror’, which resulted in the books’ banning, repeated raids of the publisher, Savoy Books, and the author’s incarceration for four months.

2. 1514. Of these, 336 have involved the Metropolitan Police, with 151 of these victims being of black or ethnic origin. No officers have ever been convicted in these deaths, or, in fact, since 1969.

3. According to figures released in 2012 by 33 of the 43 police forces in England and Wales, at least 944 currently serving officers and police community support officers (PCSOs) have a criminal conviction. Their crimes include burglary, assault, ABH, wounding, causing death by careless driving, robbery, supplying drugs, domestic violence, forgery, and perverting the course of justice, with the guilty parties including senior officers, “among them two detective chief inspectors and one chief inspector working for the Metropolitan Police”. Most of the forces “could not provide details of criminal records dating from before their staff joined the police”, so real figures will be significantly higher. The Met came top with 356 officers and 41 PCSOs with convictions. Police guidance states that forces should reject potential recruits with convictions for serious offences, unless there are ‘’exceptionally compelling circumstances’’.

4. Yes, technically. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she needs to, and may request to do so in a policeman’s helmet (although he may refuse permission).

5. 47,000. To place that into some perspective, the force is charged with policing approximately 8,600,000 residents, not to mention all those tourists and commuters…

6. In the Houses of Parliament, believe it or not.

7. The first centrally organised police force was created in Paris (then the largest city in Europe) in 1667, by the government of King Louis XIV.

8. Where else but in the Metropolitan Police District, where you are at least still allowed to legally shake a doormat before 08:00.

Ministry of Re-education - 'Metropolitan Police sticker'

9. A tough one, but contenders definitely include Mexico (rife with inefficiency, murder, torture, rape, extortion, and general corruption), Haiti (corrupt as fuck, kidnapping, drug trafficking, assaulting, and murdering), Iran (murder, torture, brutality), and Pakistan (torture, ransom, corruption), to name but a few…

10. Vatican City has the highest concentration of police (15,550 per 100,000 residents), followed by the Pitcairn Islands (1,492 per 100,000), Montserrat (1,471 per 100,000), Brunei (1,076 per 100,000), and Monaco (1,374 per 100,000).

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